The Relationship of Valentino and Tabitha seemed interesting to me. At some points Tabitha is loving and sweet towards Deng while at other times she is distant and seems to vanish for days. Deng does not get to upset by this and even seems to admit at one point she probably cheated on him and he was okay with it. For an example, "I imagine her telling her friends that I was 'a nice boy' while she kept her eye open for new opportunities...she was a desirable young woman, new to the possibilities of this country, and she needed attention as much as she needed love (293)." He seems to not think it serious and that she will realize that she really wants to be with Deng when she is ready to settle down. He goes on to say when he learns of her death that, "allow me to assume that you were on your way to deciding that I was the one... I know you entertained calls from other men, men besides me and Duluma. We were young. We had not made plans (358)." I do not think that Tabitha appreciated Valentino as he deserved to be. She seemed to take him for granted and was not as had serious about him as he was about her. It almost seems like Deng was making excuses for her saying they had not made plans therefore it was not a big deal. But if she had seen that he loved her more than anything she wouldn't even want to flirt with another man. I hope she realized what a wonderful man Deng is and the struggle that he went through to be the man he had become.
I think you're right that Tabitha took Valentino for granted. I think she didn't appreciate him because she was too wrapped up in the drama between herself and Duluma. I agree that it seems like Valentino was making excuses for her. I think it was easier for him to make excuses, than to face the fact that she wasn't as serious about him as he was about her. Sometimes it's easy to make excuses for the ones we love, because we love them no matter what they do.
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